I am not following a training plan.
I am not training for anything.
I am just running to run.
Then how come, every week I feel like I need to hit 40 miles?
Every since I started to hit 40+ miles a week consistently last year, I kept that as my focused weekly base mileage. There have only been a few times when I haven't hit that mileage and it was because of either a) sickness or b) part of the training plan for race week.
But now there is no piece of paper telling me I should run 40 miles a week in order to train for a race and there is not race on the horizon to train for but I still feel this urge inside to run 40 miles a week.
I feel like if I don't run 40 miles a week, I will start to lose something. Maybe I feel like I will lose a part of the runner I became last year. But I know that runner is already slipping away as I am not running the way I ran last year. I am not running two hard speed workouts a week and I am not running crazy long runs on the weekend.
It is a slow process to come to terms with not always pushing and training hard. And all that I have given up in the past few months has been difficult. It hasn't been easy to stop running fast, long speed workouts or super long runs. It hasn't been easy to just relax and run.
I think I am holding onto the last part of a regimen I had for over a year. The final piece of everything I built last year and everything I accomplished. I don't know if I can give up my 40 mile weeks just yet. I have already given up so much.
In the coming months as my schedule gets busier and busier with more and more events, there may be weeks when I just can't run the 40 miles and I hope I can be ok with that. Only time will tell.
Whats your weekly mileage? Is there a "number" of miles you strive for each week?