Just over 7 months ago, Brian and I got married. We had been engaged for just over a year when we got married and before that we had gone to college together. In our 6 year friendship, 4 years of which we dated, we had been through a lot of changes.
We made the choice to not live together before we were married. It was a choice that was slightly difficult at times because of course we wanted to be together but we thought that living together after being married would make our marriage and wedding that much more to look forward to.
After the wedding, I moved into our house and we made the transition to living together. It actually went much smoother than I thought. We had talked about it before hand and had basically set up what jobs each of us would do around the house. I do the laundry, cook dinner, and take care the grocery shopping. Brian takes care of the lawn and snow blowing, cars, and does the bills. We share the cleaning of the house.
And we thought we had figured everything out but it wasn't that simple. I don't think we really thought out what would happen when one or both of us got so busy that we neglected to take the time for each other.
When I decided to run a marathon, I never really took the time to think about how much time a week I would spend on running. And by running I mean getting ready, driving to run, stretching, planning runs, and cross training. Turns out its about 15 hours a week that I spend solely on running.
Each week, since about the end of January, I have run an average of 43 miles. Plus I go to yoga on Monday afternoons, Total body class on Tuesdays or Thursday mornings, spinning on Friday mornings and Pilates on Saturday mornings (when the long run isn't too long and I can make it to the class). And I love every minute of running and planning and all the cross training but it does take me away from spending time with Brian.
Also since the end of January, my work load has almost doubled. Usually I put in at least 40 hours a week but with my work load increase, I started to work over 50 hours a week. That means often I put in 10 hour days. And with the work load increase, the stress also increased which has taken its toll on the relationship between Brian and I.
Running has always been my stress reliever and thankfully in the past few months I have been running a lot! But with all my running and my working, that hasn't left much time for Brian. He has been very busy with his own work projects as well which means we haven't spent as much time together as we would like. The weekends often seem like the only time when we are guaranteed time together.
I think that is why I have always done my long runs Saturday morning at 6:30am. That way I can be back home and still have most of the day together. Brian knows how much running means to me and how happy I am that I can run, but he also wants to spend time with me.
I think the most that I have learned is that it is all about priorities. Yes I want to run and train my best for this marathon and Yes I want to do the best I can at my job, but after that I need to make Brian a priority. Sometimes, I need to rearrange my schedule to put him first instead of work or running. We are newly married and although we may feel like we have it all under control, we don't. We are still getting used to everything and still working at our relationship. Every day, we both work at this relationship because that is what it takes to balance our lives.
There are so many other things I want to do - I still have yet to print any of our wedding pictures, I have a stack of books to read, I haven't scrapbooked in over a year, and I know my house should be a bit cleaner. But honestly those things can wait until a rainy day when I have more time.
Life is all about the choices we make. Some days are tougher than others, but life is a balancing act and I know I still have a lot to learn. But its a process and for now, we are doing pretty good.