I just remembered something when I was typing an email to my bff Jackie -
Last night after swimming, I turned in my towel and was walking out of the gym when I went over to the basketball courts to see if the team was playing. By "the team" I mean, the womens varsity basketball team. Maybe some of you know college eligibility rules, maybe not - heres a quick review. Ok so once you sign your NCAA papers you have 5 years to complete 4 years of playing in any sport. I started four years ago in basketball and last spring I went out for track and this year I still have eligilibty left so I am running indoor and outdoor track. BUT I finished all four years of basketball so I cannot play that sport this year.
Anyway, so I saw the team last night, my little point guard D was there with her cute new hair cut, and some new kids and the rest of the veterans. I wanted to walk over there, I wanted to play and be the captain again. I wanted to be a part of the team again. I hadn't expected this wave of emotion to hit me. I actually started to tear up, I tried to hide it but of course B-Rabbit caught me and put that "its ok to be sad about this, you still look cute, its going to be ok" look on his face.
I actually miss basketball - like deep down in my heart, can't hide or keep it a secret. Don't get me wrong, I love love love running. But basketball was my life for 4 years and now its gone and the teams moved on without me. I was like a mother hen with her little chickies and I had to let them all go. I never thought this would all hit me like it did last night; I thought i was over it, moved on but apparently I am not.