I usually don't talk about my personal life on this blog too much but recently I have been over stressed and feel the need to share.
First some background. I have a roommate (a girl) who I knew in college, graduated before me and works for the same company as I do but in a different group. So we live together, we aren't best friends but we have some things in common and we get along fairly well.
So recently she has mentioned to me that she has started to look for a house. But she has not mentioned if she will actually be buying a house or renewing the apartment lease with me for another year in June. I just feel really up in the air about everything and I am totally in the dark. I mean its not easy finding a girl roommate/apartment mate especially one that I get along with and can live with.
I know that I need to confront her and ask her what the deal is...but I thought the polite thing would be for her to let me know. I feel like she has just left me hanging because I assumed we would be living together for another year.
So that's what has been plaguing me for the last week...and running has been my de-stresser for sure!
Saturday I met up with my co-worker for a nice slow run. Then Sunday I headed out for a 5 miler and had very little pain in my knees or hips! It is nice to see that my body is getting used to the longer distances!
Still no races on my schedule...but I may be checking out a race calender today if I get some free time at work.
HAPPY MONDAY!! (and for an even happier Monday head over to Happy Runner Giveaways for a chance to win a Bondi Band!)
Monday, January 18, 2010
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21 comments:
Well there is always SEattle Rock N Roll in June :) LOL!!
Sorry about your roomie, that is rough.. I hope it all works out..
Hope that you and your roommate get everything figured out. Good thing you ave running to do!
If it helps any, all of my friends who were "looking for a house" last year have renewed their leases!
You should definitely talk with your roommate about the situation. She may just not realize that this is bothering you so much and that you're worrying about it. Maybe she thinks June is a good time away still. Also, she may need someone to rent a room from her in order to pay her mortgage. Depending on how the conversation goes, you might want to ask if this is a possibility.
Good luck & keep running!
The best advice that I can give is for you to not view it as a confrontation. View it as a conversation so that you can both plan the best way forward collectively and perhaps individually. She may have unrealistic expectations on what you are willing to do (like what if her house quest gets delayed 3-4 months). In order to have this conversation you need to know what YOU hope to get out of it. It may sound a little selfish but that's OK.
It is great that running can help you de-stress on this. Good luck on finding the right race.
Just bring up her comment and say that you've been thinking about it and just wanted to clarify what she meant. It shouldn't be a confrontation but a conversation... you're roommates, you've been living together for awhile, you should be able to discuss your living situation. Good luck girl!
Same thing happened to me with my old roommate. Her and her boyfriend started looking for houses and I felt so hurt. I had no idea they weren't planning on renewing our lease and she never came out and told me. I saw some listings on the counter and asked her. I think your roommate should come out and give you a heads up that way you can start planning on your next move. Good Luck!
Ugh, sorry to hear about the roommate/apartment stresses. When is the renewal? She really should be giving you as much notice as possible if she plans to leave. Sucks that you have to be the one to ask, but you don't want to end up stuck. :( Good luck!
Good to see that you've been able to get out for some de-stressing runs!
P.S. I also vote for Seattle Rock N Roll. hehehe
You def should have a conversation with her. No big deal. Just being upfront and honest so that both of you can make plans for whatever comes next.
Sometimes people forget that their actions have an impact on those around them. You just need to remind her that if she is buying a home, you will need to move forward accordingly. And that doesn't happen over night.
Good Luck.
You should take your roommate to a boxing gym and THEN have that conversation. Set the tone early... :)
That sucks - I would just straight out ask her so you can start figuring things out?? Hopefully you can find another roommate if she moves out!
It would be nice for you to have an idea of what type of time frame she is looking at. It's reasonable to ask. Who knows...maybe she doesn't even know yet!
I think you are going to have to ask her. She may think she has told you about the house and she has let you know even though some info is missing. Good luck.
Running is definitely a great destressor! I've found that too, and generally that is when I have some of my best runs. Good luck with the roommate situation. If she is house hunting and is seriously thinking about it then I'd definitely talk to her.
Honestly, just go and ask your roommate what her plans are. You will feel better and it really isn't a big deal.
Thanks for letting us know about the Bondi band giveaway!
I agree- confront so you know what is going on! It is totally hard to find a roommate so you need time if you are going to have to do that. Glad running is helping!
Ugh. Definitely talk to her! My first roomie after college applied to grad school where we were living and in Boston. She got in to a school in Boston, but didn't tell me she was going there until a month before she was leaving. It was awful! You don't need that kind of stress!
Sorry about the roomie weirdness. I too would casually bring it up. I'll bet she's thinking the whole house process will take a long time. But still she owes you more of an explanation!
Glad to hear the increased mileage is agreeing with you! : )
I think she needs to give you at least a few months notice. That way, if you need to find another roommate, you can.
Oo, figuring out living arrangements is stressful. It's not something that you can figure out in the blink of an eye. If she doesn't say something to you soon, I would ask her what her plans are so you can start planning... Not fun..
Hang in there - I am glad you have running as a stress reliever!
Confrontation occurs when you are not agreeing and are ready to get attorneys involved!
You are correct - she should be nice and discuss it with you. But if there's one thing I've learned through the years, you shouldn't have expectations of people either. Control what you can control. Talk to her about it. At least you'll know where you stand!
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